Monday, February 12, 2007

I Can Conquer Hell if I Can Conquer My OCCS

I have been confessed to so many times that I could write a novel based on other peoples' shameless confessions. People have a lot of baggage to get off of their chest and now we have the blogosphere to confess to. What better way than to blog the world to death with all of our confessions. Surely there must be a Cyber saviour who would referee a confessional at no charge? Perhaps a mother Cyber one would do or get a million people to read your blog, post a majority of forgiving comments and all would be absolved. Salvation could be obtained in just a few hours. Where is my John Wayne? Where is my prairie sun?

I used to think that getting older would make life's lessons easier to understand. Quit possibly, I was deluded by something I read in a Life magazine in the sixties or maybe some comment from 90s infomercial. The older I get the more complex my issues have become. Perhaps it is wisdom seeking further wisdom or just plain ignorance of what life is really about. I feel as if I have somehow missed the boat on a few things and find myself at the dock watching a missed ferry cross to the other side.

To covet is find oneself in mortal danger. Is the thing you covet really what you want or just the security of knowing that it will be yours someday? Do you really need this thing or can you simply be content with what you already have? If you give it up, will you loose your dearest possession or if you continue in your selfishness, are you teachable? And why are you beating yourself up over things that you have no idea how to control? It's called the OCCS syndrome, the 'only child confessional syndrome'. It comes from a warped only-child notion that you must tell your mother everything that you do wrong or you will spend eternity in hell. Unfortunately, there is absolutely no cure for adults who manifest its symptoms.

We are all so touched by those around us. We are so blind to a life's true worth. Selfishness leads to total darkness. To live a life, blinded by monsters leads to personal hell, if not here but in the life to come. I like myself far too much to let that happen. I can conquer hell if I can conquer my OCCS.

I wonder what my mother is thinking of me right now?

'The Silky Veils of Ardor', Joni Mitchell '''''Don Juan's Reckless Daughter'''''
I am a poor wayfaring stranger
Traveling through all these highs and lows
I heard there was no sickness
And no toil or danger
Just mercy and plenty
Where peaceful waters flow
Where peaceful waters flow


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