Thursday, October 26, 2006


When I was a little girl, my elementary school took us to the zoo at the end of the year for an all-day picnic. This particular zoo had a huge monkey house. There must have been 50 different types of monkeys and they were all in cages with these strange lights above so that you could see the monkeys and their babies. I would walk down the halls and stare into the cages in amazement because I was so close to the monkeys. That lasted for about two years and by the time I left elementary school I really felt sorry for the monkeys.

I will never forget the first time I saw the backend of some type of "monkey" that was multi-colored and exposed to say the least. I think it was a female monkey. I had been standing in front of its cage and throwing peanuts at her. The monkey loved my peanuts and I keep giving her more and more even though we weren't supposed to feed the monkeys. All of a sudden she turns around and I saw the most horrendous sight that I had ever seen!! I just knew that monkey had some type of disease or someone had hurt him. All I knew was that she needed help so I ran and got my teacher and told her what I had seen. I begged her to come with me and see this poor monkey. Well by that time some of my classmates wanted to see the poor monkey too. We stood in front of his cage and my teacher explained that the reason the monkey had a "colored' bottom was so that she could attract others of her own kind . It was just the laws of nature in force.

Well, I just thought that the poor monkey would never be able to sit down anywhere, let alone attract anyone with a bottom as ugly and awful as hers was. My teacher said that other monkeys of her own kind would be drawn to her beautiful bottom and come over, ready to play. That seemed like a good reason not to be monkey. That night I went home and looked at my own bottom in the mirror and was very thankful it was one color with just a little brown mole on one hip.

It was just the other day when an announcer on a PBS radio station made a comment that if and WHEN the Democrats gain control of the House of Representatives, Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi would become the Speaker of the House of Representatives and be third in line for the Presidency of the United States. Well, that reminded me of my trip to the Capitol building in Washington and seeing large government buildings with lots of important and powerful-looking people on sacred missions, feet never touching the ground while flying hailing cabs, making policy over expensive lunches and laughing just a little too loud across the table with chins on chest and eyebrows raised. Serious minded folks on a mission to the save the world, smuggling drinking there cafe lattes in the hotel lobbies, reading the Washington Post and trying to nonchalantly checking out anyone who come in. The Mayflower Hotel is a great place to be seen and be heard.

I think that the Democrats used to have a really good party but now it's all different kinds of colors and not very level or consistent in appearance. They're kind of like that monkey's bottom. When I first saw that monkey, I liked what I saw. She reached out her little hand, yelled something monkey cute and I gave her my peanuts. She looked like the best monkey in the world. We could be friends if only I could get into that cage with her. She was the darling of the Monkey House!! I thought how nice it would be to climb around all day and just hang out in the zoo and eat bananas with her, and do what monkeys are supposed to do.

But oh..... Then she turned around and I got to see what was really behind the monkey. It was the bottom that attracts others of her kind and I just wasn't so crazy about that monkey anymore. I felt sorry for her because I knew she couldn't change. Now in later years, it seems like her fascade was glossed over and what she really wanted you to see was her backsides, her secret self that comes out when she does her about face. Her front fascade makes you like her so much that after awhile you might even ignore her backside and think that "she's just the best little monkey and I don't care what her bottom looks like... and I like her backsides."

I think that the Democrats have a bad case of bad-monkey bottom but the Republicans had better starting looking in the mirror and check their own backsides. I am just plain tired of all this Washington monkey politics on both sides guys!!


Mac said...

It's not a blog if you don't post to it.

Susanna Williams said...


I don't think I've ever really read anything you've written before. I really want to read more. Please post.


p.s. Tell Mac to mind his manners.